


Death and Flowers

by Distinguishedrunawaymiracle



Category: Will & Grace
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drabble, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Pining, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-28 01:35:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18201716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Distinguishedrunawaymiracle/pseuds/Distinguishedrunawaymiracle
Summary: The looming fear of death due to Hanahaki Disease is very real for Jack Mcfarland.





	Death and Flowers

Jack shivered uncontrollably as he knelt in front of the toilet in his house. He knew going into this friendship everything might end up hurting but he never really understood what that entailed. Jack forced the little amount of air he could into his lungs while sobbing before heaving into the toilet again.  
It surprised the seventeen-year-old that it’s been almost a year since he developed something more than friendship for Will. It seemed like it was such a long time ago, back when he was fine with just going through life one day at a time and not worrying about whether it would be his last. Jack didn’t even realize that his Hanahaki had gotten so horrible because it crept on him.

Then his worse coughing spree hit and he was clutching his sides in pain as tears streamed down his face. He’s never known pain like this before and he wished he could just make it all go away. The dark thought of maybe ending it himself crossed his mind but he let that thought go. No matter how bad the pain got he wouldn’t resort to that.  
He only saw a bright red and at this point he didn’t know if it was the red carnations he’s so familiar with at this point or his blood. He still tasted the horrible concoction of iron and chemical flowers that was so overwhelming, too overwhelming. But no matter how much he cried and how much he coughed there was never enough room in his lungs for his air and he wanted to breathe and- Everything went black.

Jack woke up in his bed with no recollection of getting there. He froze for a second worried that he was missing school, but he relaxed again when he realized that it was winter break. The brunette wanted to get through his last year of school. Jack would be thankful if he could just do that.

Then the door to his bedroom opened, and he looked up to Will standing over him. “What are you doing here?” Jack attempted to say normally, but he was so tired and sore he hoped that Will understood him at all.

“I came to see my best friend.”

These were the hardest days. When his body aches for Will and he’s so close but never close enough. When he smiles at Jack like everything is fine when Jack is fighting to stay alive these days. Jack could feel the flowers trying to force themselves back up, but he swallows them down. The petals scratch and claw at this throat as he forces them to not come up while his entire body begs him not to. He can handle the pain if Will doesn’t have to look at him with blood and flowers and vomit everywhere.

Suddenly, Will’s sitting next to him and he has to decide on whether to touch because every touch makes everything so much better at the moment but hurt so much more later when Will’s gone because he always leaves. Jack settles on leaning his head on Will because he’ll take any last reprieve at this point and it’s just a little easier to breathe.

“I knew you were sick, but I didn’t realize it was this bad.”

Jack tried to laugh, but it came out more like a chocked sob, “what are you talking about? I’m fine silly.” Jack prayed that Will couldn’t hear how tired Jack was behind the words.

“This must be something worse than the common cold like you said it was a couple weeks ago. What is it, Jack?”

Jack should have known better than to try to hide it from Will. “I have Hanahaki disease but it’s not that big of a deal,” Jack said casually.

“Get the surgery,” Will replied without skipping a beat.

Jack only wished he could. But he’s not brave enough to get the surgery. Just thinking about what his life would be like without loving Will. The idea terrified Jack. He’s used to the pain, so used to the longing of always having the other man but never like he wanted. Will would understand none of that though.

“It’s not that simple.”

Will stood up in anger. His face looked so tense and Jack felt the urge to smooth out the stress wrinkles in his face. “I can’t believe you’ll let yourself die over some guy.

Jack smiled fondly. He could feel his eyes want to close and could feel the exhaustion come back, but he blinked it away so he could explain to Will that he was not just some guy. “You don’t understand Will, he’s amazing and don’t know what I would do without him.”

“I don’t know what I would do without you though.” That was when Jack really looked at Will in a long time. The hurt and sadness from when he came out to Grace almost a year ago was still very clearly etched into his face but there was more than that this time. Jack dying terrified Will to death.

Jack reached out towards Will to comfort him, but Will was too far away. He stared into Will’s hazel eyes and thought if that was the last thing he ever saw then maybe dying wouldn’t be too bad. Then Jack closed his eyes as the exhaustion finally overtook him.


End file.
